When the going gets tough…
They say you have to keep on going but we all know this is easier said than done. Right now I’m floating on cloud nine. Had you mentioned that this is how I’d feel last Friday, I wouldn’t have believed it. However, life works in mysterious ways and I feel like I’m on top of the world. Let me be clear, this isn’t the result of me having everything figured out. Neither because I’ve achieved everything I’d like to. NO WAY! I just got my faith back and all thanks to my attendance at the Glow Up months ago! Now before I tell you how this played a role in me getting my groove back, I need to tell you about the event that lead to me losing it in the first place.
Last week I mentioned that I spend the first few weeks of September studying my ass off. What I left out is that I actually started in august because I was preparing for one of the most important exams of my study career. In my mind, this was the only thing keeping me from finally moving forward in achieving the different goals I’d set up for myself. Once again I put everything on the back burner, fully focussed on that objective especially since it wasn’t my first time. I failed twice before and I was totally fed up. With the exam, the fact that I had to redo it once again. Most importantly that awfull feeling of defeat after each failure as well as the taxing feeling of stasis. Come hell or high water, I was determined to ACE my exam on Thursday.
Unfortunately that sentiment was shortlived. By Friday morning, at the crack of dawn, I learned that my efforts were left unrewarded because I failed. AGAIN! Completely out of the blew. Knocking the wind out of my breath as well as any confidence I had built up so far. In all honesty, I was fighting back tears on my way to work that morning, feeling utterly demotivated and devastated. Right then and there, all the hope I had left slipped away. In that instance I lost faith in the belief that in life things always seem to work out. That there’s no such thing as coincidence because everything happens for a reason. That the reason why we don’t always get what we want/work towards is because there’s something even greater waiting on us. So with this mind-set, I started my workday. Completely out of balance. Just pushing through until I could go back home, crawl into bed and forget this day even happened. That is until I came home to find a postcard in my mailbox, which is where the Glow Up comes to play/comes in.
On the 24th of June I attended a Dinner held by Charlene Kortstam & Rowan Blijd, designed for the Afro-Dutch woman. In their own words, they invited likeminded care free black women to come and enjoy a fully catered three course meal. Whilst listening to inspiring speakers and a mini workshop Me Time by Sweet Lifestyle. During the Me Time workshop we each got to choose a postcard. The assignment was to write ourselves something we’d might need/want to hear/be reminded of. Beryl, the founder of Sweet Lifestyle, promised that she’d make sure they would make their way back to us. Boy am I glad she did. I aslo wish I was able to give you a view of the memories I have of this night. Better yet, we could rewind time and experience this together because it was truly magical. The food, the vibe, the stories, all the puzzle pieces came together that night. Words truly won’t do it justice. I’m already looking forward to the next Glow Up dinner!
Back to the postcard… Truth be told, I had forgotten about it. Though I recognised the card I had chosen, I couldn’t recall what I wrote to myself. That’s when the magic happened. It was as if back then I had a moment of clairvoyance whilst writing and knew exactly what I would need to hear right this instance. On the left side I wrote a verse from Hamlet by William Shakespeare, one of my favourite verses on earth. Beautiful as it may be, it wasn’t the actual source of my goosebumps. Those arose as I read what I wrote to myself on the right side of the card. The whole text felt so fitting to everything that lead up to & happened on Friday. The fact that out of all the days the card made its way to me on that specific Friday reinstated my faith. It gave me the strength I needed to, once again, dust myself off and pull myself together. Ready to continue the journey that lies ahead with the up most trust & conviction. That no matter what this too shall pass and I’ll reach my destiny.
Ever since I’ve been roaming through life like it’s seventh heaven. Boosting with confidence and without a care in the world. The contrast of how that Friday started compared to how it ended, has once again proven to me that what’s meant to be will be, on my own pace and in my own time. Considering what an impact this had on me, I decided to be vulnerable and share this experience with you. Hoping this gift beautifully keeps on giving by reminding you to keep on going no matter how disheartend you may feel at times.